The summer that never was….

1 Aug

This summer has just flown by. Not to mention, I seriously was blindsided by the fact that I have to go back to work next Monday. It’s been such a whirlwind and I know that the main reasoning for that is the fact that I had surgery. It seriously took up most of the summer, from pre- surgery fun and planning to post-surgery recovery.

Not to say that I haven’t had a good time this summer. I have. It’s pretty much the first summer that I haven’t worked a summer job pretty consistently. I still have my real estate license and I do stuff from time to time, but not on a daily basis all summer. It’s been a breath of fresh air not to have that expectation on me, but I’d probably say that next summer, I’ll likely get a little part-time job. The extra income is wonderful. If I got some extra certification, I actually could do private practice therapy, but I’ve yet to find out how I could work that into only a summer thing….I don’t think it’s possible.

So, We’ve gone through the wringer with our fertility testing, etc. Everything looks good and we are set to have a baby….but I’m not at all unrealistic to think that that will happen, just like THAT. So, we are looking into maybe trying IUI in October. We will see. THrough this, I started looking at fertility blogs. It’s really funny….I’m used to people blogging for years. Hardly ever leaving it…and if they do, there’s a reason. I’ve found with many fertility blogs that MORE blogs than not just end…suddenly. It’s really disconcerting. People will be in the midst of an IVF cycle….and then nothing. People will be waiting on a pregnancy test…then nothing. Not that people HAVE to continue on, but I’ve just never seen that many people just consistently stop. I can only hope that they finally got their wish. I also did notice that many people did stop completely when they had their baby, which is a little more understandable for me.

Well, I’m hoping that this next school year will be an awesome one. It will be the first time I’ve been at a school for a second year, which is fantastic. I finally feel like I have my feet on the ground and that I’m really ready to start.

But it WOULD be nice for one more week of summer! ;)

oh how things change

13 Jul

I remember a time when I thought that there wouldn’t be a few days, much less a week, that I went without blogging.  That obviously hasn’t happened…and I probably didn’t need to point that out. 

What has happened?  I guess life…but I have actually been reading all my favorites, just not really commenting and to be honest, it just hasn’t been a priority to post about my stuff, when I’m in the midst of it. 

First off, we got a little puppy.  She is a handful and seriously the best thing EVER.  She is so awesome, I don’t know how we lived without her before.  She’s 6 months now, her name is Sally and you will want to squeeze her…I swearImage.

So, that’s happened.  We got her in March, I believe…. and there shortly thereafter, I’m talking weeks after, the bottom dropped out on my world for a while.  I got a text from my mom saying that my cousin was in the hospital and the closer that I got to the ER that day, I knew that things weren’t going to be the same.  Long story short (not to be callous, but I could write forever about this with no resolution), we spent a week in the hospital, while my cousin was on life support.  She had stopped breathing due to a freak thing with her medications, and didn’t wake up again.  After a week, we had to make a decision as to what she would want her life to be like….the doctors had talked to us and let us know the reality, that she would not wake up…so we had to let her go.  All this happened in a week and it literally felt like months.  I was there when she physically left this earth, something that was really mind blowing and humbling, but I was also there when she left this earth and it was something that was horribly wrong and left me with many questions.  She left a husband behind and that’s hard.  He struggled before she left and is understandably struggling more now.  He is making it. 

I finally had my back surgery a few weeks ago, on June 18th.  It was actually pretty scary, when the time started approaching.  I started realizing what 3 months of no activity meant to me…and it meant a lot.  It was almost more scary than the actual surgery.  But I did it.  The two days after the surgery was awful.  I couldn’t get up or lay down…so that presented some issues.  But after some time, I was allowed to go and here I am.  Some days are better than others, but all days, if you saw me in a store, you’d have no clue that I’d just had surgery…which I guess is a good thing.  It is taking all that I have in me, not to participate in all of the great fun things that I’d love to do…to not take the yoga classes that I long to have time for, but really don’t, during the school year.  to not do the bike rides that are so fun, and that I have to sit by and be a spectator for.  Most of all, I hope that this pain that is still there, will go away, so that I can say that I missed all of these fun things, for absolutely something that was worth it…

The other big thing is that I’m headed to a fertility specialist shortly (next week).  Not because there is something wrong, but according to the powers that be, I guess if you don’t get pregs within 6 months and you are over 35, you can be considered infertile.  So, I’m moving in the next step of the path.  We have decided that we will have a child.  How that will happen…we are not sure.  So, we are going to see our chances and play the odds game.  Its’ all exciting, regardless of how and when!

So, that’s what’s been happening, and that’s how things have changed.  Some are so good and some are so bad.  it’s amazing when life flies by and you can only hope that there are some good things to temper those bad things, and luckily, in my life, there have been.

she’s crafty!!!

19 Feb

I have been a crafting machine lately. I’ve done two yoga bags, an iPad cover, started a tshirt blanket and then tonight….whipped out 16 headbands in a matter of an hour or so. The iPad cover was really a triumph….I had no idea what I was doing but it turned out great.


The tshirt blanket is a work in progress. I’ve been taking Tshirts from different things…races, the high school I worked at, old Tshirts that I just love and am making them into a big blanket. It’s going to be great when I’m done, but it may be a while to get through the whole thing.

The yoga bag was a trial and error project. I did one, the way that I thought made sense, then made another following the directions to a T. It turned out fantastically great


The headbands were because I loved a certain brand of headband that I had bought but couldn’t see spending that much money on it again. It was almost $20 for a headband. They are awesome, your hair doesn’t budge, but i thought there had to be an easier way. And there was…..I made four sets of all of them for all the girls that are going to Costa Rica. I hope they love them!


well, there goes that….

1 Feb


So, i HAVE done one part of my blogging resolution, and that is to read more blogs.  I have been avidly catching up on everyone’s lives and enjoying every second of it.  What I have not done, however, is write more blogs.

It’s been a great start to the year.  Seriously, it’s been better and gone faster than I could imagine.  We started off New Years with friends and some of my family members.  We just hung out with ridiculous amounts of food and fun.  It was awesome.


Since that time, I’ve been waiting for this trip to COSTA RICA to begin.  Every few days, I’ll check the countdown on the calendar and swear, each time,that the trip MUST be sooner than the countdown says.  I’m so excited to go on this trip, I cannot wait.  What that means though, is that bathing suits must be bought at an inopportune bathing suit buying time.  First off, as you may imagine, the winter time is not exactly the time to find a plethora of selection in Colorado for suits.  So, I decided to be nuts and just buy something I hadn’t seen or tried on.  I crossed my fingers…hard.

imageIt turned out awesome.  I love my new suit.  I’m going to wait a couple more weeks to look for another one.  But I honestly couldn’t have gotten a better one than this one!  I got it for half price and it’s an Athleta suit.

I am on a waiting list for my new tattoo.  I’ve been waiting for about 5 months and haven’t even got a call to say that we’re a month out.  I was worried that they would call me right before the trip, and if that was the case, that I’d have to cancel or postpone, because I can’t get it wet on the trip.  Thankfully, I’ve heard nothing up until now….so I guess that’s good.

Work is great….I leave on Fridays, excited that I’m leaving, but not with dread that I’ll have to be back on Monday.  it’s a great feeling.  The kids are great, I wonder what on earth is wrong with parents half of the time, but all in all its a great time.  I feel as if my time is well worth it and that I’m doing what I’m supposed to.



On that note…I’ll leave you with my creation that I made for my cousin’s wife and girlfriend, that are going on the trip with me.  Happy weekend!!!

image (3)




30 Dec

So, have I mentioned how much I love yoga?  I do….everything about it.

What I like most about it, is the feeling that I can breathe during it.  sometimes, i get so caught up in things, that I cannot take a deep breath.  it’s an awful feeling.  it makes me feel panic, even when I’m not.

I love also, the fact that it’s one time, that is just about me. yes, it’s done in a class, but it is the one time that I feel free to do whatever.  if that means, laying on the floor for an hour (no, i’ve not done this), then that would be o.k.

Some added bonus came with it, and that was losing weight and muscle tone.  I don’t know how it happened, but it did.  My best guess is that I always do hot yoga.  Our facility has what they call hot yoga, which is actually a form of Bikram, but their everyday classes, are like regular flow classes, but in a heated room.  I think that this has helped things tremendously.  Helped in terms of flexibility, relaxation and yes….weight loss.

what i did notice about yoga, is that it’s addictive to me.  Which makes total sense…who wouldn’t want to do something that made them feel fantastic everytime?  But, I do know that there needs to be balance.  So, instead of doing everyday, I’ve cut down to 2-3 times a week.  and really…it’s enough.

What it looks like ahead

28 Dec

Without going into too many things ( and of you’d like to know, ask for the password on a previous post), this year has been one for the books. It has been the hardest, and yet most surprising year ever. It’s broken my faith in people and renewed it in others…and I guess that’s not an awful thing.

I’ve learned that sometimes, when you are struggling the most, you may find yourself left alone by many. You will see who your friends really are and you will be disappointed. It’s been a surprising life lesson, that has in turn, made me cling to those that I know will be there. It’s made me vulnerable and sometimes needy feeling. All of this, in the end, has been healing.

I’m hoping that after this year and the stressors, that the coming year will be amazing, on some different levels.

Out of many things, other than my relationship with T, the thing that has changed the most has been the love affair I have with yoga. It has been the most healing thing in my life….in years, really. It’s the one thing that’s just for me and the thing that gives me solace. On those days when I couldn’t catch my breath, or take a deep one, it allowed me the space in my body and mind to just be. It shocks me, on a regular basis, of how new I feel, every time I go to class. It’s inadvertently helped me lose weight and had about every great side effect that I ever thought there was.

This prompted me to take a leap and do something really out of the realm of me. In march, I’m taking a trip to costa rica to a yoga retreat. I am so excited, I really cannot wait. it’s a therapeutic yoga and standup paddle boarding retreat. I’m going at a time where I don’t have spring break, but I figure, I only live once and at the very most, the therapy done here will hopefully postpone or cancel my back surgery.

And there is my back. After some really jacked up issues with pain meds, including almost being poisoned by meds, then having to go through withdrawals, I’m pretty done with the pain. I now, am feeling like I want to get everything out of the way before surgery….I’m contemplating doing a half marathon….just because I don’t know that I’ll be doing that ever again after my back is done.

All in all, it’s been a hard but really good year. It’s been healing and contemplative. I couldn’t ask for more.

My hope for the year ahead is that I’ll be here for often, reading about you all and catching up on these relationships. My blogging friends are such a big part of life, and I learned that i need to make the time for this. As its all about connections……

Image 28 Dec


Here’s our latest photo from the turkey trot this year! I actually ran the whole thing….slowly, but I did run it!


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